When we associated it with the farce that we can control our weight and therefore people’s opinions of us. Think about it. When you watch a 1 or 2 year old, who has no concept of “good” and “bad” foods and no concept of “feeling fat” they naturally stop eating when their little bellies tell them they have had enough. What happens to us as adults? Do we lose that internal cue? No. We just stop paying attention to it, or worse yet, we stop honoring it (clean plate club). I call that Force Feeding. We would not do that to a child or our pet, why then do we do it to ourselves?
At the heart of it all is the belief that we need to change ourselves and we believe that we can do it by controlling what we eat. Unfortunately, we all have a little rebel in us that will not allow us to deprive ourselves of basic necessities (calories) or the things we enjoy (chocolate) for very long.
Somehow we have been tricked in to believing that the only reason to eat food is for fuel and if we use it for any other purpose, not only will we get fat, but we are a bad person.
Let me help you out here by giving you this analogy-like sex is not only enjoyed for reproduction, food is not only to be enjoyed for fuel.
Many women I work with have favorite foods that they are avoiding then overindulging in, but don’t even get to enjoy because they are eating them while distracted, while beating themselves up or while promising not to eat it again.
In case no one told you…
You do not get to go to Heaven for eating clean and you will not be banished to Hell for eating what you love. The problem is when we attach our morals to our food choices. Doing so inevitably makes us feel bad if we ate something “bad” and good if we stuck to the “good foods”. This also gives us the feeling of we did something bad or we are bad if we can’t “stay on that darn wagon!”
What if food was just food? What if it wasn’t good or bad, it was just neutral and you could choose any kind that you wanted?
Go ahead and think about it. I’ll wait.
Yep. You CAN eat whatever you want.
How do we get past this?
- Stop trying to control your weight. There are so many forces at play when it comes to the number on the scale. Genetics, hormones, socio-economic status, other medical conditions. If you can wrap your mind around the idea that your weight is not under your control you can relax and move your body because you want to take care of it and movement feels good, it’s not just something to lose weight. You will also start paying attention to and HONORING the signals your body gives you because you want to take care of your body, not control your weight.
- Give yourself unconditional permission to eat whatever you want. What you will notice when you truly give yourself permission and have what you really want to eat (not what they say you should eat) on hand, you will be able to relax around the food. It will cease to be a big deal because you can have it whenever you want.