If we lived on this planet by ourselves would we be self-conscious about our weight?
Somewhere along the line you learned by observation or like me, first-hand, that to be fat was not okay. I got teased mercilessly by a male cousin and his friends who loved to call me fat and make fat jokes when I was a little girl. It was in those moments when I decided that it was not okay to let my body do its thing (I would eventually have a growth spurt and the weight would distribute itself without changing). I learned to believe that I had to manipulate and control my weight so everyone (my cousin and his friends who I didn’t like anyway) would accept me.
Ultimately, this is why we think we have to control our weight on the first place. To control other people’s opinions. Why does any of this matter anyway? Here’s a fact. Everyone is not going to like you no matter what you do, so you may as well be yourself. It’s less stressful that way. Why can’t we get everyone to like us? Because people’s opinions are about them, not us. Consider this. If everyone’s opinion of us was really about us, everyone’s opinion of us would be exactly the same. It’s not because their past, their thoughts and beliefs and that change how they view the world.
When we try to control other’s opinions of us by changing who we are and how we act, no one wins. You don’t win because you have to constantly live in fear of being found out and rejected or live in misery while you keep up the charade. The other person doesn’t because they are not interacting with the real you, but a made-up be version.
When you struggle with thoughts of being yourself because “everyone will think I’m fat ugly have let myself go.” Ask yourself, who is this everyone? Is it really everyone or just one or two people and do you want to give them the power to make you feel bad about yourself?